Crawling through the Marian Column on the Lower Square has absolutely no influence on your grades

Photo: Herbert Frank, Wikipedia Commons
Monday 15 June 2020, 15:58

An ancient university myth goes like this: If a Palacký University student walks through the oval opening in the Marian Column the night before an exam, they will pass their test.

Nevertheless, a university must stick to the facts – and in this case, the facts are clear: no research to date has ever proved that a direct correlation exists between climbing a Baroque plague column and one’s grades. The only reproducible result of climbing through the Marian Column is committing a misdemeanour according to Section 39, Paragraph 2a) of Law No. 20/1987 Czech Law Coll. on National Monuments, with sanctions which can take unpleasant chunks out of student budgets.

We can understand the fascination with Olomouc’s Baroque monuments. They are truly impressive and make up a significant part of the atmosphere of the town. This is why is it much better to admire these Baroque symbols and constructions by feasting one’s eyes on them from all possible angles than crawling over them with one’s body. A photograph with one’s degree in hand in front of the Holy Trinity Column is a much better memento than a sheaf of legal papers on your misdemeanour and an accompanying fine. We should appreciate that all the monuments of Baroque Olomouc are practically at one’s fingertips, and not tempt future restrictions. We can show them at the Olomouc Department of Sport, Culture, and Monument Care that the growing number of complaints is just a temporary aberration, and that Olomouc university students would prefer to spend the nights before their exams in peace, rather than climbing through the Marian Column.

And now, seriously, folks: There are cameras in place on the Lower Square making identification of people quick and easy, and those caught crawling through the column face extremely high fines. Please uphold the good name of the university and its students and avoid damaging cultural monuments. Thank you.